Everyone tells you your life changes when you have a baby. I never really believed it. Sure, I knew that there would be this other little being we’d have to factor into our lives, that it’d take more time to get ready to go out, that we’d have someone else other than ourselves to think about. But in the back of my mind I always questioned those people who said we’d have no time to shower, or eat, or do anything other than care for eight pounds of flesh that would wail at all hours for love and nourishment. I didn’t believe that could possibly be the case. But now, almost two months since my last post on here, I get it. That eight pounds of flesh sure takes up a lot of time and even when he’s sleeping it’s incredibly hard to draw my eyes away from his perfect little face.
The past six weeks have been the biggest learning curve of my life. Henry was born on the 16th of June weighing in at a healthy 3.68 kilos. He was perfect. Labour wasn’t exactly a breeze but it wasn’t a horror story either. The recovery was tough, tougher than I expected, but it was breastfeeding that really threw me. The one thing that was supposed to be completely natural, the one thing that I was supposed to be able to do for my son, just hasn’t happened. And for no real reason. The one thing I really wanted to do, and the one thing that I didn’t prepare a worst case scenario for, has failed. I think this is probably the first thing in my life that I haven’t succeeded at. It’s certainly the one thing I’ve put the most effort into so it’s hard to come to terms with the fact that it just hasn’t worked for us.
But now I’m finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m sitting here, next to my little guy, enjoying a cup of tea in the sun and realising for the first time that we have a beautiful baby boy who’s healthy and happy, no matter how he’s being fed. And it feels so good.
Henry & Grace 
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