Archive | December, 2010

Rainbow Bridge

31 Dec

Vivian Arthur Carson.
10th May 1923 – 21st December 2010.

My gramps was one of the best men I knew. He may have been quiet and he might not have had much, but he served his country, cared for his family, and lived his life honestly with unending integrity. To know him was to understand his love and tenderness. Though I didn’t arrive in time to give him one last hug I can take comfort in thinking of him walking along Rainbow Bridge with his best mate Benji. And it makes it a little easier to know his beloved friend was there to welcome him.

Rainbow Bridge

By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,
Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run,
When their time on earth is over and done.

For here, between this world and the next,
Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.
On this golden land, they wait and they play,
Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.

No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,
For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,
Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.

They romp through the grass, without even a care,
Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.
All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,
Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.

For just at that instant, their eyes have met;
Together again, both person and pet.
So they run to each other, these friends from long past,
The time of their parting is over at last.

The sadness they felt while they were apart,
Has turned into joy once more in each heart.
They embrace with a love that will last forever,
And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together.

Liquid time

14 Dec

It’s that time of year again. Where people go mad with to do lists, drive like maniacs and generally lose all patience because Christmas is all about hassle, not joy and celebration.

Every year I can’t wait for December to be over. While I love Christmas the lead up can be a bit overwhelming. But this year, I don’t care. I’ve got much bigger things on my mind. Work in a flurry before closing? Don’t care. People being mean and rushed? Don’t care. I’m growing a giant that I’m head over heels in love with. And that takes effort.

Last week we had our first OB visit and while I wasn’t handed a bag of miracles, I was given a cream to stop the itching and got a surprise ultrasonic peek at Pork Chop who now looks much more human! We got a whole pile of brochures (yes, I was that excited I may have drooled a little) about the birth, breastfeeding and other important things I probably should have taken the time to understand more, we’ve booked into the hospital and the savings are growing almost as well as the little one. I managed to take a breath and relax which I’m sure was nice for both me and The Boy, despite a few days of freaking out over Junior’s neural development thanks to all the bug spray.

To top it all off we had our 12 week nuchal translucency (NT) scan yesterday where Pork Chop measured in at a whopping 13 weeks and gave us a glimpse into his/her personality. We saw a cute little button nose, flailing arms and legs, watched as he/she gulped and swallowed amniotic fluid and generally acted all adorable, if a little stubborn. We counted a spine, a brain, a four chamber heart, a stomach, a diaphragm, two arms and two long legs. I fell in love even more and pulled a muscle in my mouth from all the smiling while Dad annoyed the sonographer by taking photos and videos with his iPhone.

So I’m nearing the end of my first trimester and I simply can’t believe how quickly time is flying. It feels like yesterday when I was at four weeks and terrified… and here I am now, two months later, with a healthy and rather large bub growing inside me. All too soon it’ll be Christmas, then New Year, then the five month countdown. It’s all going too fast, and yet not fast enough.

Never to suffer would have been never to have been blessed

2 Dec

Wise words from Edgar Allan Poe. But clearly the man had never been pregnant.

I’m going to try not to whine here, I really am. But I also have to say I’m not one of those lovely pregnant women who glow and are all like ‘being pregnant rocks!’Because the only rocks I’ve had have been produced by my bowel and the glow from that is more like an angry red flush.

Let me first say I am beyond happy to be pregnant. I can’t believe how incredibly lucky we have been to conceive so quickly (even though if felt like an eternity) and to have had a stress free pregnancy so far. The duo that is the Boy and I will become three in just over six months and that thought, that feeling, is goosepimply good.

But some days I don’t love being pregnant at all. Mostly because I’m more tired than I’ve been in my entire life, my body is doing strange things, and I’m living with overwhelming anxiety every waking minute. I’ve been nauseous almost every day for the past 11 weeks. I’ve been covered in skin rashes and coldsores that have made me scratch so bad I’ve woken up with blood under my fingernails.  I’ve struggled through days at work where I’ve just wanted to die from the overwhelming urge to vomit. I can’t stand up without feeling dizzy, I haven’t been able to exercise in weeks, I’ve been constipated, had diarrhea, been bloated with gas, had numerous headaches, my boobs are sore but haven’t grown a millimetre and I feel like I’ve completely lost my body and personality to the life growing within.  Oh, and it hurts, a lot, when I leave it too long to pee.

The first trimester sure hasn’t been a joy, but I do acknowledge it’s been an almighty blessing. Pork Chop has survived 11 whole weeks. S/he’s grown nicely, had a good strong heartbeat, and if I’m not mistaken did a backflip yesterday which I believe I happened to feel. Call me crazy but that twinge I got yesterday was markedly different from gas (a now very familiar friend) and I’d like to think that some of the fluttering I’ve had today is the little dude spinning around.

And you know what? That feeling alone is enough to make up for all the crap I’ve put up with over the past three months. Because on days like these where I’ve sat miserably at work trying not to hurl and wondering why anyone in their right mind would ever want to get pregnant, I remember that there’s a little someone growing up inside of me whose personality is already shining through. A little someone I can barely wait to meet.