No screaming for this icecream

25 Feb

OK I can’t resist re-posting this. Breast milk icecream? Really? Did we need to go there?

I’ve heard some freaky shit about breast milk since becoming pregnant. I’m all for donating extra milk to premmie kids, I’d even consider using it myself if Henry arrived early, though I don’t know how keen I’d be nor whether I’d go out of my way to find out how to donate extra and milk myself for that purpose (I often have good intentions, but on the whole I’m somewhat apathetic). I’ve even heard about weird breast milk fetishes, and people who seek out buying the stuff online for its supposed health benefits.

But icecream?

What gets me is that it’s being marketed as ‘pure, organic, free-range and totally natural.’ I’m sorry, but if you’re going to argue that, then every woman you’re buying this milk from had better be on a strictly organic diet. And have never had inhaled fly spray, paint fumes, had her hair permed, her nails done, taken antibiotics, smoked, drunk alcohol or done drugs (you’ll be pleased to know that donating mothers are screened with a blood text). Because that’s what it takes to be truly organic.

As for ‘natural’, I’m calling blanket bullshit on this word. Define ‘natural’ for me. Go on. Cows milk not natural enough for you? Nature gave you a cow, you milked it. Maybe ‘natural’ is to do with the pasturisation milk goes through in this country. Call me silly, but I kinda like knowing my milk comes bacteria free. TB? No thanks! And don’t start banging on about cows on hormones – that’s prohibited in Australia.

Free range – I’ll pay that, but only if we know these women are living in lovely houses, big enough for their needs, and get some fresh air and exercise every day. But I’m not convinced this is the case, since those that are most likely to respond to the ad are probably quite keen to welcome the ‘extra cash’ that’s promised.

But hey, I’ll give them points for the crazy-as-shit name – ‘Baby Gaga’ – and it is good to know that should I decide not to go back to work I can sit at home with a pump and a bottle and start raking in the dough.

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