Ready for parenthood?

17 Feb

Hardly. After nearly having to excuse ourselves from Church last night following the hilarious discovery that the opening hymn was written by one Horatio Bonar (get it, bon-ar?)* I’m wondering how prepared we really are for the responsibilities of raising a human. Because, let’s face it – we still find fart jokes funny and our idea of a great nights’ entertainment is flipping through self-published books on Blurb.com and laughing at photos of dogs in stupid hats. Not exactly what you’d define as mature, adult behaviour.

But hey, you gotta laugh sometime, right?

Anyway, while waiting for my shiny new iPhone to arrive in the mail yesterday, I stuffed around on the interwebs and picked up a heap of trivial knowledge that I have no hope of retaining now I have placenta brain. I also had a horrid day-dream of being covered in stretch marks, had a small cry and vomit (apparently second trimester morning sickness is a reality for Chunder Girl), oh, and I enrolled in a graphic design course. Because, you know, I’m going to have so much free time now I’m a stay at home mum. That, and I’m totally over my incapacity to design cool looking stuff.

So! News for the week:

1. I decided that parenthood was going to be a breeze and enrolled in a full-time graphic design course.

2. I spent most of my working week looking up cool new iPhone photo apps and trying to set up my Words with Friends account.

3. I spent what little remained of my working week playing around with said iPhone apps.

4. I started to waddle.

5. I had a cry, a vomit, and a killer case of back pain that almost made me rush back to the hospital to be comforted by my lovely, if now somewhat slightly frustrated, OB.

6. I realised that no matter how old you are, people with funny surnames… have funny surnames.

*It didn’t help that the closing him was composed by a Mr. Hoare.

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